Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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