covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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