It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Randomize
