Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
