In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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