"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
