she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Randomize
