K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
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I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
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'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
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