some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize