you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
