i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
