...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
