Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
