I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
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