Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
