My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
