Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
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