stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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