I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
