There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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