margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize