dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
found the other keg... it's in the tree
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.