My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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