Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
