you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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