I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
