My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I love how my cats smell like pot.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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