I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
you didnt know i had herpes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize