I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
