god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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