she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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