Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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