3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize