Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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