Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
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