I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
