I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
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