Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
