I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
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