what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Randomize
