Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
