Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
