You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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