She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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