when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boobs speak an international language.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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