...so i touched it.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
