i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
