as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
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im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
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Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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