Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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