Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
