sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
