my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Congratulations! We have a period
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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