ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
