Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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