You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
My bed smells like the plague
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize