yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
