we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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