Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
My bed smells like the plague
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
